Meme overflow

[capslocking]

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Comments

[wouldhave]

[Apollo, light of R's life, are you seriously asking why cat videos

There is no why. Cat videos just are.]


because I'm sure you were a cat in a former life, and I can't stand to be parted from you when I can't watch you orate in public or private


since it comes to mind that you might not understand sarcasm, that was sarcasm, oh Apollo

[logomachist]

[Because he likes understanding passion, R. It's one of his, like, two things. If cat videos are worth fighting and dying for, he wants to know.]

Enjoy your pizza.

[wouldhave]

Alas! He has decided enough is enough. I'll enjoy what's left of the cold pizza, if you promise the next time you wank you think of blowjobs ;)

[logomachist]

Why? What in the world good will that do you?

[wouldhave]

Absolutely nothing!

[Just don't immediately forget him when he isn't in front of you.]

[logomachist]

Then why would you ask for it?

[wouldhave]

Because I'm drunk, the pizza's cold, and tonight sadly lacks blowjobs. One of us must salvage this situation!

[logomachist]

No one's stopping you from going out and getting one.

[Which is probably the right time to just. turn off his phone but. here he is typing again.]

Why do you only text me when you're drunk?

[wouldhave]

I'm already eating the pizza. It would be sad if I was responsible for both parts.

[He's not answering that second text.]

[logomachist]

[Okay but so.]

Text someone else to come over, then.

Why do you only text me when you're drunk, R?

[wouldhave]

Who says I only text you? Courf and I have great fun punning at each other while we're both drunk off our faces

[logomachist]

Why don't you text me when you're sober?

[wouldhave]

Who says I'm ever sober?

[take the fucking hint, apollo. leave it]

[logomachist]

Do you not even believe in sex enough to take control of your life?

[wouldhave]

[The wine has run out, the pizza is cold, and his mood has soured. Just because you're the embodiment of passion made real doesn't mean you get to pick apart his life whenever you want to without giving anything in return.]

"believe in sex enough" are you fucking high

Sex doesn't fucking change people.

[logomachist]

It might. Anything might change a person. If inspiration to betterment had a formula, we'd be well farther along than we are.

[wouldhave]

What the actual fuck would you know about it.

[logomachist]

About inspiration?

[--or, more logically:]

Or about sex?

[wouldhave]

I've heard you enough times to know that you and inspiration are kindred spirits.

Of fucking course sex

[logomachist]

So I'll figure it out.

[wouldhave]

Fuck off

[logomachist]

Text me when you're sober.

[wouldhave]

I am fucking sober


This is why I don't fucking text you when I'm sober, since you insist on knowing.

[It's not. It's not even remotely close to the real reason.]

[logomachist]

[Okay, so, it's gonna sound like Enjolras is calling.




Because Enjolras is calling.

Pick up and don't be a dick, R.]

[wouldhave]

Fuck off.

[But he's answered the phone so...]